damn the black night

i remember when i felt like that-
dirt free glorious-those braids-
but can i actually-



God bless the daylight, the sugary smell of springtime
Remembering when you were mine
In a still suburban town

When every thursday I'd brave those mountain passes
And you'd skip your early classes
And we'd learn how our bodies worked

Damn the black night with all it's foul temptation
I become what I always hated
When I was with you then

We looked like giants in the back of my grey subcompact
Fumbling to make contact
As the others slept inside

And together there
In a shroud of frost, the mountain air
Began to pass from every pane of weathered glass
And I held you closer . . .

he is there-slightly to the right of centre.


-me and ben

the one who fears is not made perfect in love-

when may i cry justly, and when must the child grin and bear it? what is love, and what is pride? why is love the absence of fear. does such love exist, and how can i do this? how can i give of myself without giving myself? will i ever learn such a selfless sacrifice?



"Worlds Apart"

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart


I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remain"
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
"dull the nails that still remains"
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart

-dan haseltine

there were too many W's

"How singular is the thing called pleasure, and how curiously related to pain, which might be though to be the opposite of it...yet he who pursues either is generally compelled to take the other; their bodies are two but they are joined by the same head."

-that Socrates

silly booked ramblings and the awkward cafe
take me back to a time i don't remember men

The Most Precious Lullaby

1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, AND I WILL ANSWER HIM;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

Psalms 91

the black swan

The sun is fallen and it lies in blood
The moon is weaving bandages of gold
O Black Swan where oh where is my lover gone
Where oh where is my lover gone

Torn and tattered is my bridal gown and my lamp is lost
With silver needles and with silver threads
The stars stitch a shroud for the dying sun
O Black Swan where oh where has my lover gone

Don't you hear your lover moan
Eyes of glass and feet of stone
Shells for teeth and weeds for tongue
Deep, deep down in the river's bed
He's looking for the ring
Eyes wide open, never asleep
He's looking for the ring

The spools unravel and the needles break
The sun is buried and the stars weep
O black wave, O black wave, take me away with you
Take me down to my wand'ring lover
With my child unborn
With my child unborn.

-Il est tombe le soleil sanglant