First you look so strong,
13.9.11
you are a vapour trail
First you look so strong,
27.8.11
the way is to climb
the way is to lie still
and let the moon do its work on your body
and then to rise
through forests and oceans of lives
and through the way of the black rocks, splitting, wide,
and flow
ten thousand miles."
well, i've had enough,
wasting my body, my life
I'LL COME AWAY, COME AWAY FROM THE SHALLOWS-
but can this sullen child,
as bound as the ox that i ride,
climb to the heart of the white wind, singing, high,
and blow
through my frozen eyes?"
8.8.11
there are different kinds of alone
Well, I've been absorbed in mediocrity
Been hollowed by uncertainty
I've taken all of my beliefs
And given them up
Cause there's no guarantee
Of a god of longevity
Admit you don't know anything
And give it up
Singing, I don't know if I've been reborn,
Lived a past life, suffered in another time,
I don't know
Give it up, give it up, give it up
Well I don't know what to believe anymore
But every now and then I feel a moment of awakening
But then it's gone, then it's gone, then it's gone
I'm blanketed by the warmth of ignorance
Singing, I don't know if I've been reborn,
Lived a past life, suffered in another time,
I don't know
If I'll go somewhere special when I die
If I'll go somewhere special when I die
So I'll just go on living my way
There's a strength in duality
Penetrate mentality
Give it up, give it up
Learn from casualty
Don't have faith in anything
Give it up, give it up
Singing, I don't know if I've been reborn,
Lived a past life, suffered in another time,
I don't know
If I'll go somewhere special when I die
If I'll go somewhere special when I die
where have you gone?
24.7.11
What Sarah Said, and The Void
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU that reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself that I'd already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD took you a little farther away from me
Away from me"
So who's going to watch you die?..
27.6.11
ALL IS FULL OF LOVE
25.6.11
in a thousand years, or maybe a week
Out at the train tracks I dream of escape
But a song comes onto my iPod
And I realize it's getting late
I can't take the staring and the sympathy
And I don't like the questions,
"How do you feel?"
"How's it going in school?"
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
Way out, way out of here
Fade out,
Fade out, vanish
I'll try to forget you
And I know that I will
In a thousand years
Or maybe a week
I'll burn all your pictures
Cut out your face
The shutters are down and the curtains are closed
And I've covered my tracks
Disposed of the car
And I'll try to forget even your name
And the way that you look when you're sleeping,
And dreaming of this
Way out, way out of here
Fade out,
Fade out, vanish
9.3.11
i shall never leave this must that tempts and dies to find me damned
20.2.11
2.2.11
and i remember
Or down by the tracks watching trains go by
To remind me: there are places that aren't here.
And I had a well but all the water left,
So I'll go ask Your forgiveness with every breath,
And if there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body...so long, dear.
30.1.11
i wish to god i didn't
"To think that I would die this time
Isolated in the room where the bed rises
Photographic ordinary people are everywhere
Extraordinary histories, ordinary histories, ordinary histories
I'll find sleep, I'll find peace, or in death you'll sleep with me.
To figure that it was my fault
Or so I've come to realize life is not about
Love with someone - (ordinary people are everywhere)
Extraordinary people are, ordinary people are, ordinary people are
Everywhere you look, everywhere you turn, illness is watching, waiting its turn.
Did I go at it wrong?
Did I go intentionally to destroy me?
I'm suffering in noise I'm suffering in - (touching ordinary body)
The burning from within the burning from with - (ordinary is scary now)
I could not be at rest, I could not be at peace - (extraordinary is scary now)
So do yourself a good, or do yourself a death from ordinary causes
Or do yourself a favor, or do yourself a death from ordinary causes
ENDLESS LIGHTS PREY UPON THE LONELY, PREY UPON THE LONELY
I want to be well, I want to be well, I want to be well, I want to be well.
And I forgive you even
As you choke me that way
With the pill or demon and the shrouding ?
Under conversation
In tremendous weight of
A crowd of ages outside
Dressed for murder
I'm not fucking around
I'm not, I'm not, I'm not fucking around
And shall I kiss you even as you take me that way?
With the pill or demon as my body changes
Apparitions gone awry
They surround me, all sides
From what am I seeing, only changes
I'm not fucking around
I'm not, I'm not,
23.1.11
and for all the pain and love which it entails -
10.1.11
Daphne descends ("It's Not What You Think") -
With the sugar sickness You spy the kidnap kid Who kids you to oblivion It's the perfect hassle For the perfumed kiss HE MAKES YOU MISS HIM MORE THAN HOME You love him You love him more than this You love him and you cannot, you can't resist You love him You love him for yourself You love him and no one, no one else Past sidewalk ashes A last lovers arc You come apart to intertwine It was all so simple As you watched him move Across the darkness in your room You love him You love him for youself You love him and no one, no one else And the winding vines The pretty boys dive And thru the pinhole stars Into the shadow mind You will lose him then On some gentle dawn This boy is here and gone You love him You love him for yourself You love him and no one, no one else You love him You love him more than this You love him and you cannot, you can't resist