the smiths, asleep

Everything is changing, everything is different, but it's okay-
alles nahe werde fern-
so it's okay with me now, i suppose

(really, because it must be)

'Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I'm tired and I
I want to go to bed

Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
And then leave me alone
Don't try to wake me in the morning
'Cause I will be gone
Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I will feel so glad to go


Sing me to sleep
Sing me to sleep
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore


Sing to me
Sing to me
I don't want to wake up
On my own anymore


Don't feel bad for me
I want you to know
Deep in the cell of my heart
I really want to go


There is another world
There is a better world
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well, there must be
Well ...


Bye bye
Bye bye
Bye ...'

{BUT GOD -}, or, things i learned on the edge of a Rocky Peak

in no particular order,

-it doesn't always work out. yet, it does.

-blacks are not the answer. and the color red most certainly is not.

(there is nothing like, there is nothing like, Your love)

-God isn't condemning us when He draws us back. if we are willing (or many times, if we're not) He will break us and take away every vice until we are shown He only is sufficient.

-no matter how wise or cautious you may try to be, sometimes you can't predict the pain life's circumstances can bring.

(i feel like I just died twice, was reborn again for all our dirty sins) but,
(i dare not trust the sweetest frame, but wholly lean on Jesus' name)

-as ridiculous as it sounds, it's okay to hurt. it's okay to scream, thrash, cry, weep. it's part of life, and expression. and it's okay to be there with God. He rarely works in the ways we predicted, but we usually find later that it's much, much better that way.

-trials don't wait for you to be full of energy, financial stability and a mental hilltop to appear. They frequently come in threes. in fact, sometimes they come in tens. it's all in the reaction.

(i'm afraid of everyone, i'm afraid of everyone) but,
(what can make me whole again, nothing but the blood of Jesus)

-God likes to work in ways from which only He can receive the glory. on that note, when you ask Him to strengthen your faith/break you for Him/draw you nearer...know what you're asking.

lastly,

I am not near as strong as I thought I was, and yet at the same time-

God is stronger than I had or could have ever, ever imagined.

No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear

"[Pain] removes the veil; it plants the flag of truth within the fortress of a rebel soul."

--Clive Staples Lewis, The Problem of Pain

butterfly kisses
little girl dances
brushing my hair 100 times

taking me to soccer
letting me paint my room
and sitting in your big chevy

fighting about boys
fighting about church
fighting about everything

realizing the hugs are few and far between
needing the i love yous
and flying away far too many times

what can i do now
your body withers away, and i cannot save you
you touched my face for the first time when i left
i fear i've flown away too many nights

please please please humble me
humble my family
but not this way,
there's got to be another way
please don't take him
i'll do anything